Invisible Walls

"Invisible Walls" - Artificial rules that unnecessarily inhibit our actions.

I began using this term "invisible walls" some time in my late teens to describe certain rules that I lived by that didn't need to be there. The idea was that I had more options, more freedom of decision making, than my mind realized. Perhaps I didn't talk to a pretty girl because we didn't have any common friends, so it didn't seem natural. Maybe I didn't apply for a job because I didn't think I met the qualifications the post wanted. There were many situations where I was allowing official-sounding texts (like job posting requirements) or past experiences limit my decision making potential.

I made a habit of identifying times when I was being held back by these invisible walls. Most of the time, the walls were innocuous. Social norms fit the description of invisible walls. They are often reasonable guidelines to help make interactions with others more pleasant. I'm glad when people queue up behind me in lines rather than squeeze in front. I'm grateful they hold in their farts around me. Other times, social norms need to be set aside for the better. Sometimes I need to tell people that I'm not fine when they ask how I'm doing. Occasionally we benefit from seeing creative or even bizarre clothing in an otherwise orthodox work setting (I've seen some really cool shoes at work sometimes.)

Maybe we can afford a new house. Maybe we could go vegetarian for a while. I don't know. What's holding you back, maybe just because it's an invisible wall?